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The Official Guide to Vulcan Nics

 

From: Larry [mailto:rippers@ctaz.com]
Sent: Sunday, January 24, 1999 11:03 AM
To: vulcan@vroc.org
Subject: The Official Guide to Vulcan Nics

 

A thought crosses my mind (and that could be a very dangerous thing). If the Almighty Gods of motorcycles (Kawasaki) saw fit to call all these rides we cherish so deeply "Vulcans" why then should we, as mere mortals try to define them into such diverse, appartide, seperationist divisions with a multitude of dis-similar nic names...

This said (and I have no clue what I actually said), we (the VROC) have in our infinite wisdom and glory dubbed the 1500A and it's various sub-species the BUBF (butt ugly but fast) and we have all agreed through repeated usage of this title that it does indeed fit and it is good.

So there-go we should in all fairness and in keeping with the will of the Gods continue this tradition and build upon the successes of the past...

To-Wit Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the all inclusive, definitive guide to Vulcan acronyms and terms of endearment...

BUBF The one that started it all...

SOBUBF the venerable and often spurned step child, the 750 or as it shall be known from this point forward: Son of Butt Ugly But Fast.

BCOBUBF Ahhhh the rebel in the group would be this jewel, the 800 Classic, often looked on as the golden child of the 1500 classic but deeper inspection shows it's true color and it is not good. For we find that it is truly the Bastard Child of Butt Ugly But Fast. Me thinks a forward looking American engineer had something to do with this conception.

ACOBUBF Lest we be accused of forgetting those with smaller... never mind. The 500 Vulcan is obviously not from the same lineage as the apparent parent so we must check the legal status and find through various sources that indeed this little tyke is truly the Adopted Child of Butt Ugly But Fast.

RCOBUBF The 800A is truly a Rebel among us...Sporty, flashy, screaming "look at me...", I have style, pinnace and really cool spoke wheels. We that have them, love them for what and who they are, the Rebel Child of Butt Ugly But Fast.

BOBUBF Please don't read BOB into the front of this one... We speak here of the all important 1500 Classic, which the untrained eye can see did NOT draw it's genes from the loins of BUBF but rather from the father of BUBF thus making it Brother of Butt Ugly But Fast, and for those who find it necessary to continue the sibling rivalry we could also say GLBOBUBF: Good Looking Brother of Butt Ugly But Fast.

NOMAD Hey why screw with an already short, relatively cool name that says what we need it to say. It is apparent that the Gods chose this name after observing the behaviors of their faithful followers here. :) It is also apparent that the NAD is from outside the direct line of BUBF and may actually be an Aunt or Uncle, perhaps a cousin of the BUBF. IF this were found to be true it might follow that it would thus be Not Our Mother-Another Dad. Now where did i put that bottle of Prozac???

GOBUBF and finally we visit the newest incarnation from the minds of Vulcundom, the Drifter. A throw back to an earlier era in the world of two wheel excitement. A time when gas was a quarter, smokes were a dime and a glass of beer at the pub was still just a nickel. A time when the biggest motorcycle gang wore US military uniforms and rocked Mr. Hitler's world. I give you Grandfather of Butt Ugly But Fast, and realize that this is actually the re-incarnated Grandfather...you believe in that don't you.

Writers Notes:

---=== General Disclaimer and Release of Liability ===---
This is in no way intended to offend, depress, incite, inflame or agitate those among us that have not been able to ride recently as a result of weather, roads, So's, breakage or infirmities. You are required to provide your own alcohol, Prozac, Demerol, smokes, chrome and leather. This comes As-Is with no implied or expressed warranties. Some assembly required, batteries not included, your mileage may vary depending upon your riding style and degree of modification of the internal and external components of the above mentioned rides and the relative size of your real or perceived inter-groinal danglers. (Ladies excluded and adored).

Larry "Ripper"
RCOBUBF
Mohave Valley AZ.
Geeze...it's a damn good thing I'm going riding today!!!!

 

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